FAQ

SpudMate FAQ – The Bloody Fine Print

What the heck is SpudMate?

“We scribble your genius (or garbage) on a spud and mail it to a mate. It’s a prank, a gift, or just a bloody weird way to say ‘G’day!’ Raw potatoes, big laughs—sorted!”

Is the spud edible?

“Nah, mate, it’s not for a feed! These spuds are for fun, not frying. Unless you like your chips with a side of Sharpie, leave ‘em on the mantel.”

How long’s it take to get there?

“Quicker than a roo on a bender—3-5 days Australia-wide. If the postie’s flat out like a lizard drinking, maybe a tick longer. Patience, ya sook!”

Can I send it to me ex?

“Bloody oath! Tell ‘em ‘Rack off, ya drongo’ or ‘Peel better soon’—a spud’s the perfect revenge. Just don’t expect a thank-you note.”

What if I stuff up the address?

“You’re up spud creek, mate! Double-check it before you hit ‘Spud It.’ Wrong spot? It’s on you—we’re not chasing lost tubers.”

Can I write anything on it?

“Max 10 words, keep it cheeky but not too feral. ‘Stone the crows’ is fine; ‘stone the postie’ might get us in strife. Fair go!”

What’s this “Sign on Delivery” malarky?

For an extra $5, you can make sure your spud gets the VIP treatment with a Sign on Delivery option! That means your mate has to sign for their spud-tacular surprise when it arrives—no sneaky postie leaving it on the doorstep. It’s the perfect way to ensure your ‘Peel Better Soon’ or ‘You Bloody Ripper’ potato lands in the right hands, complete with their John Hancock. Just tick the box at checkout, and we’ll handle the rest while you sit back with a cold one!

Do you ship outside Oz?

“Not yet, ya global galah! Australia only for now—spuds don’t fancy long hauls !”

What if it arrives smashed?

“A mashed spud’s still a laugh, right? If it’s proper cactus send us a pic and we'll sort it, no refunds.”

Why spuds, you mad bastard?

“Because potatoes are cheap, chunky, and perfect for a stitch-up— Only Straya’s finest.”